Reader: Beware

You may have seen the Dos Equis commercial wherein the most interesting man in the world stated: "If you don't have a dark secret, it's never too late to make one." I am here to say that I can exclude myself from his statement, for I have many, many dark secrets. Deep are the recesses in which my secrets hide, and I have held on to them too long. In the coming days, you will eventually come across a link here, and this will be to a second blog, one that will run in tandem with this one, and perhaps run even more frequently. This, then, is the reasoning for my title.

Reader: beware. What you read there will forever change your view of me. It will rend all you've thought you've known about anything I've said or done. This is not an easy road to travel. To help facilitate this launch of my deepest secrets, I have but one rule: my secrets are mine own. Feel free to point people to my blog, but do not spread them in any other way. Anything that is misconstrued I wish to avoid; let them get the story straight from the horse's mouth. Then feel free to speculate amongst yourselves, after reading.

Now then, as it will take time for me to think up a new domain for that blog, as well as do a layout and start posting, I extend to you this head-start: if you are reading this, odds are that you know me personally. As such, I will truthfully answer any question you pose to me from a text or email that references this post (reader: beware). I cannot stress this enough: do not ask any question that you do not wish to know the answer to. I will hold nothing back.

I look forward to changing your perceptions.

Promises

Humans are so fickle; we change our desires on a whim, and look at duty as a four-letter-word. "Duty? How profane and commonplace." We scoff, thinking it beneath us. Or, on the other side of the coin, above us.

It was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that's what the promise is for



Duty is what needs to drive us. We are selfish creatures, all seeking for our own satisfaction. Yeah, you may help the poor, volunteer at a shelter for animals, or any other thing on the list of commonly accepted "Good Things", but why? Because it makes you feel good. What if that feeling disappeared? Would you still do it? Probably not. But duty. Responsibility. That is what would drive you on. You are responsible for the poor, sick, and homeless. It is your duty.
Likewise, it is your duty to stay pledged to the one you say you love. It astonishes me that divorce and cheating is so rampant in this society. When did it become unheard of to stay with the person you married? You've been married for 25 years and still love each other? Wow. Surprising, you kept your wedding vows.

It was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that's what the promise is for

That's a line from a song titled "Dancing in the Minefields" by Andrew Peterson. Why do most people not hold this view anymore? It was a promise, and in the innocence we had as kids we believed promises were absolute. When did that stop? Should we not do that which we promise?

We need to make the choice to keep love alive in our relationships. It's not a feeling, it's actions. "I love you" means a lot less coming from someone who is never there for you, or leaves when the going is rough. That's what the promise is for, to keep you going when you think your feelings have changed. You'll never know your true love until you make it through the rough patches, so stick it out: there's happiness on the other side.

Returns

Wow. Where to begin? It's been so long. It's good to come back, but I know it should have been sooner. Have you ever had that feeling where you know you want to do something, but then you just keep putting it off, and the longer you put it off the less you feel like doing it because it's been so long? Yeah, that's me with this blog.

~Anywho~

I got a job. A full-time one, with Southwest airlines. It takes a lot of time, and I wish I lived closer to Midway, but I fly for free and the work is good. The only downside is I have weird days off and stuff. If you do absolutely nothing on Wednesdays, Thursdays, or the random *managed to finangle a day off somehow* days, hit me up, we should hang out.

I also got a PS Vita, a keyboard (yes, add that to the long list of instruments I am learning how to play), re-did my room and practiced my bass like crazy over the summer. Add to that a new nook, reading 50 bajillion books (including the game of thrones series), getting my cube solve time to sub-two minutes, going to the final (yes, sadly it will never happen again) cornerstone, listening to 5 bajillion new bands, studying more Japanese and amassing a "pile of shame" of video games I have yet to complete, these past 6 months have been crazy. I have many things to tell you, and many things to look forward to, foremost being blogging more frequently. How can I say that? Well, I did recently order something that will make it much easier to blog on-the-go. Should be here in a week or two.

En Memoriam: The Ides

The now-defunct Cardiac Outbursts would every year as far back as I can remember, without fail, make a post about the Ides of March. As such, I felt it fitting to pay tribute with my title. Requiescat in pace.

Now, onto my post! Sorry I didn't post in February, I had this great video post lined up and every time I tried to go through with it, the audio would record and not the video, so that'll come later once I suss that out. Look forward to it.

Also, a lot of stuff has happened since my last post. Landed a job with Southwest airlines (which I start on Monday), learned some more songs, got a few new (totally awesome) CD's, and will probably be getting a car this week. Been pawing at the idea of asking a girl out, played a TON of the ME3 demo, built a new desktop PC for myself, and pulled my bike out so I can start riding it again (because it's finally warm enough!). Things move so fast. Anywho, that's just a quick mash-up of what's been happening over in my slice of the world. Look forward to that video post, coming up soon!

Obligatory New Years Day Post... 15 Days Late

First and foremost, I want to mention the end of the lifespan of a blog I've read for about five years now, if memory serves me correctly. I believe there will be no more mentioning of the blog Cardiac Outbursts, and I hope it has served my good friend Lexa well. Through my time, I've come to see a blog as not just the self-centered ravings of an egoist (as I once believed), but more the public, and yet somehow private and personal, journal of a person that has the need to express their ideas, ideals, and thoughts to the world, even if the world doesn't read it. Just a shame the blog shut down before I was able to read the final post.

Now, on to the self-centered ravings of this egoist, ha. I had an odd year last year. Not bad, just different. Next to no stress, looking back I spent the whole year in leisure. And you know what? I'm not sure I like it. I got next to nothing accomplished. School? That's expected. Better at guitar? I expect that of myself too. Other than that, I am no more proficient in anything that is of much consequence. I wonder if this is how most office workers feel. In their spare time, not accomplishing much, and in their professional lives just trudging through. I certainly hope that's not what's in store for all of us when we move on to our careers, we'd go insane. I've long believed the majority of my generation has no real drive, dreams, ambitions. I've heard it said that success will only be yours when you want it more than you want to breathe. I, for one, don't know if I want it that badly. There are very few things I do want that much, and success isn't one of them. I wonder if that's a good thing. Wonder if that's what has made this past year feel so empty. If I'm ok with that. And, sometimes, if I'm the only one I know that bothers to think about these things. Surely I must not be, after all, although minds don't think alike they certainly call to each other in such a way that is immensely interesting. Do we seek out other people with similar thinking processes, or do we just discard all others in our minds? What shapes our circle of influence? Our personality certainly, but is that all? Is there some unknown that pulls people together, are we in contact with all those we are in contact with for a reason? I have some ideas, but as with all things I find interesting, no matter what I think about it it still makes an interesting thought to paw at in your mind, or out loud with another mind that also finds these things interesting (or at least will humor you by joining in your desire to suss this out for a short while).

Hm. This post went differently than I had planned. That's ok. Just think about it. I think self-reflection is important. You have to know yourself, and to know yourself you have to think about yourself. Why do you make the decisions you make? Think the thoughts you think? Do the things you do? Or, perhaps more importantly (and on the other side of the coin), why do you NOT do or think certain things? It's ok if you don't answer questions like this at first, but I've found it opens your mind. Leaves you freer to express, and more easygoing and calm when you come across a conflicting situation. Knowing yourself leaves you free to act (or restrain yourself from acting) when life requires an immediate response. Maybe sometime soon I'll reveal how some of that inward thinking shaped me last year, or perhaps I'll keep that to myself for a while yet. I'll go see what I want, a kind of (amusing) consultation with oneself.

This year, I think we must look in to gain a clear view on what we're constantly looking out at. Think. Please.