En Memoriam: The Ides

The now-defunct Cardiac Outbursts would every year as far back as I can remember, without fail, make a post about the Ides of March. As such, I felt it fitting to pay tribute with my title. Requiescat in pace.

Now, onto my post! Sorry I didn't post in February, I had this great video post lined up and every time I tried to go through with it, the audio would record and not the video, so that'll come later once I suss that out. Look forward to it.

Also, a lot of stuff has happened since my last post. Landed a job with Southwest airlines (which I start on Monday), learned some more songs, got a few new (totally awesome) CD's, and will probably be getting a car this week. Been pawing at the idea of asking a girl out, played a TON of the ME3 demo, built a new desktop PC for myself, and pulled my bike out so I can start riding it again (because it's finally warm enough!). Things move so fast. Anywho, that's just a quick mash-up of what's been happening over in my slice of the world. Look forward to that video post, coming up soon!

Obligatory New Years Day Post... 15 Days Late

First and foremost, I want to mention the end of the lifespan of a blog I've read for about five years now, if memory serves me correctly. I believe there will be no more mentioning of the blog Cardiac Outbursts, and I hope it has served my good friend Lexa well. Through my time, I've come to see a blog as not just the self-centered ravings of an egoist (as I once believed), but more the public, and yet somehow private and personal, journal of a person that has the need to express their ideas, ideals, and thoughts to the world, even if the world doesn't read it. Just a shame the blog shut down before I was able to read the final post.

Now, on to the self-centered ravings of this egoist, ha. I had an odd year last year. Not bad, just different. Next to no stress, looking back I spent the whole year in leisure. And you know what? I'm not sure I like it. I got next to nothing accomplished. School? That's expected. Better at guitar? I expect that of myself too. Other than that, I am no more proficient in anything that is of much consequence. I wonder if this is how most office workers feel. In their spare time, not accomplishing much, and in their professional lives just trudging through. I certainly hope that's not what's in store for all of us when we move on to our careers, we'd go insane. I've long believed the majority of my generation has no real drive, dreams, ambitions. I've heard it said that success will only be yours when you want it more than you want to breathe. I, for one, don't know if I want it that badly. There are very few things I do want that much, and success isn't one of them. I wonder if that's a good thing. Wonder if that's what has made this past year feel so empty. If I'm ok with that. And, sometimes, if I'm the only one I know that bothers to think about these things. Surely I must not be, after all, although minds don't think alike they certainly call to each other in such a way that is immensely interesting. Do we seek out other people with similar thinking processes, or do we just discard all others in our minds? What shapes our circle of influence? Our personality certainly, but is that all? Is there some unknown that pulls people together, are we in contact with all those we are in contact with for a reason? I have some ideas, but as with all things I find interesting, no matter what I think about it it still makes an interesting thought to paw at in your mind, or out loud with another mind that also finds these things interesting (or at least will humor you by joining in your desire to suss this out for a short while).

Hm. This post went differently than I had planned. That's ok. Just think about it. I think self-reflection is important. You have to know yourself, and to know yourself you have to think about yourself. Why do you make the decisions you make? Think the thoughts you think? Do the things you do? Or, perhaps more importantly (and on the other side of the coin), why do you NOT do or think certain things? It's ok if you don't answer questions like this at first, but I've found it opens your mind. Leaves you freer to express, and more easygoing and calm when you come across a conflicting situation. Knowing yourself leaves you free to act (or restrain yourself from acting) when life requires an immediate response. Maybe sometime soon I'll reveal how some of that inward thinking shaped me last year, or perhaps I'll keep that to myself for a while yet. I'll go see what I want, a kind of (amusing) consultation with oneself.

This year, I think we must look in to gain a clear view on what we're constantly looking out at. Think. Please.

Stuff

Hey guys! This is really just an update, but meh. So, I read it somewhere else but can't remember where, but it struck me as rather astonishing that we as humans are duped by optical illusions every day, and never take notice. These optical illusions? Images! they exist in two-dimensional space, and yet our brain interprets them as three dimensional, assuming that if something is covered it is further back, or that shadow means depth. Weird stuff. Anywho, I also just picked up some guitar strings on an insane sale. 8 packs for $110, with a free $170 guitar. I sold the guitar, and ended up only paying $30 for 8 years worth of guitar strings. Sweet deal. I also picked up a ticket to the Paramore concert in Chicago on the 18th, gonna go with Lexa over at cardiac-outbursts. Should be fun. Start school in a few weeks. That's gonna suck. But I'll have Fridays off! Well, I think that's about it. Until next time, go have some fun.

comment on recent post under "humanity" for outbursts

seeing as theres no longer a comment feature, ill post it here. also, seeing as i lack the patience to type a long response on a tiny phone digital keyboard, ill just say this: good stuff.

Words

Hey guys! This is more of a response blog than anything else, seeing as Lexa over at Cardiac Outbursts removed her comment function. The blog I'm responding to can be found under the title "You're the one I have decided who's one of my kind...". Note to Lexa: you still haven't changed the link on your blog to my new url. Just saying. Anywho, you can read the whole post over there, but I'm specifically responding to these few lines:

"Why do we all hide behind cryptic lyrics, quoting them to people, enamored with how they sound?/ Songs are so powerful, words are powerful, we are powerful. We hold all this power and so few of us learn how to use it to our advantage. Too few of us speak our minds and stand up for ourselves./ I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and stop hiding behind your words!"

Now, while there's nothing wrong with these words (they're pretty spot on about most people, actually), they do create a small issue in my mind. The problem is that not all of us hide. True, I used to hide behind those cryptic phrases, and sometimes I feel like using them time and again just for kicks, but most of the time I wield my words. They have become a sword, shield, and sanctuary. They can express what I think, defend what I believe, and create imaginary worlds of bliss.  For those of us that, as mentioned, actually learn to speak our minds, words become a powerful tool, and are no longer something we fear and avoid, quoting our interpretations of another persons phrases to make our point. In this way we do "hide" behind words, but can we truly hide behind words when we choose not to wield them? Just something to think about.