Hindsight

So, I've been sitting at home with not much to do. Reading, learning a new language, watching tv, playing video games. But right now, all that feels hollow, empty. Will I look back on this in hindsight and wish I had spent my summer better? Or will I look back and think this was a summer well spent? Idk. I'm not sure about much at all anymore, except that I wish I was around my friends, and that God is always with me. And it's times that I feel like this when I'm brought back to the thought of how fragile life is. I'm not guaranteed another ten years, not a day, not an hour, not even my next breath. All that can be taken from me in an instant, like my life, my love, my time, my friends, they all are so important to me, and in not,.. acting, I guess, I'm throwing it all away willingly. Do you get that? It's like I'm dead already, because I'm not with my friends, had to let go of love because of love, killing time until the next thing I'm looking forward to (Cornerstone) instead of spending time. So the conclusion I've just reached here is that I'm dead. Maybe I need a new defenition of life, because right now, I'm dead.

Well, now that that's done with, I want to say I miss my friends, I can't wait for Cornerstone, and I just wanna do something with my summer. Let's go backpacking, camping, hiking, go to Dicks and climb, just come to my house and play video games or something, but at least let me be with my friends now, before that last breath is required of me, because if I were to die tomorrow, I'd wanna look back on today and think to myself "that was time well spent", not "that time was wasted."

So, as customary, Roses are #FF0000, an I'm feeling #000000.