Freedom

Second Edit: She did.
Edit: I think she just said yes.

I've just done one of the most idiotic, 6th-grader-ish things I've ever done. I asked someone out it what is probably the lamest (and slightly ambiguous) way possible. And you know what? Before I did it, it was one of the biggest things ever. Now that it's done? I could care less. I don't mean that in a bad way. Not at all. I'd be rather happy if she felt the same way. But if she didn't? I'd be perfectly fine with a flat no. I have no illusions to be broken, and no fear of rejection. I don't know when or how those things happened, but it's so freeing. The best way that I know how to describe it is this: have you ever gone climbing? Either on a rock wall or technical? If not technical, have you ever just gone on a hike in the woods? You start off, and if you're anything like me, you think through almost every possible scenario. Up until you set out there's an electricity that flows, at once scary and amazing. And then, you start. And once you start, you don't really care where the road leads. All that matters is that you started, and where you are. The road (or wall) will end where it ends, and if you have to take some breaks to get there, that's just fine. You're content with where you've gone, and you're ok with leaving with your experience, because you can always climb or hike again. Maybe in a different place, with different terrain, or shelf, or grade, but the journey still holds the same adventure, the same electricity. And there's peace in that. That peace is what I'm feeling. And so now that that first move has been made, whether it turns into something or not, I'm happy.