Nook STR - A non-exhaustive review

So I've been suckered in to a new reality/contest show: The Glee Project. I've come in late in the game, but it's still a really good show on the Oxygen network. Go watch it, tonight's episode (sexuality) was awesome, and I really respect this one guy on there, you'll know who I mean if you see the episode. But now, down to business:

The Nook. Long story short: I love it. I still have my paper library, and I'll never give that up. But now? Digital is for me. What I'll probably do (until the price of e-books drops to cheaper than a paperback) is buy the physical book, and then download the e-book (technically it is "stealing", but under digital rights rules you are allowed to make or download digital backups of physical media that you actually own, so there). Readability is great, I flew through two 200 page books and a 40 page mini-story yesterday, no problem. All without having to swap physical media! --Which is so what I wanted-- Now, what irks me is that they didn't spend another $.02 throwing in a LED with a switch so I can read without lugging around a book light, but you can't have everything. Also, fleshing out the web browser would be really nice. It does a lot, but gets hung up on pictures that are also links (which, in all fairness, shouldn't bother me because it officially doesn't have an advertised web browser). Maybe I'll root it after all... But for now, It'll stay vanilla. A random plus? I can upload my own screen-savers to it. Yay!

Quidditive

Hello there. This is going to be a jumble of thoughts, so if they randomly change without transitions don't kill me. Anyways, my brain has finally clicked and made a minuscule and at the same time massive distinction, and it was such a relief. It's going to make things a lot easier now, and hopefully I won't have anymore weird heart things going on anymore for the foreseeable future.

Also, I caved and ordered a nook. Should come in soon, and then I'm gonna spend a whole post telling you all about it. My two justifications for buying one? I wanted it, and it should save me money when I now buy e-textbooks and stuff.

Dirt

It's amazing how clean a bit of dirt can make you feel. I won't go into details, but while I still kind of feel like I did last post, a huge weight has been lifted from me. Whether or not it settles back down is yet to be seen, but for now, I'll take what I can get. It just gets hard sometimes, you know? Stuff from the past rears its ugly head, and you don't always have the easiest time knocking it back down. Dirt is great at doing that for you, puts the past in perspective.

Anyways, hung out with some friends tonight, hit up the BWW, went for a swim. A good time, if you ask me. Gonna hang out with Lexa on Tuesday, which should also be pretty fun.

Remember, Remember

I'm a coward. And a hypocrite. I hide behind my printed words, and never speak what I mean out loud. I sit and hope and think and brood and dream, and I pretend nothing is happening. Sometimes, I just wish someone would sit me down and not let me leave until I've told the whole truth about what I feel. That scares me. There are some things that I don't even want to admit to myself, let alone anyone else. There are some things I've even tried keeping secret from God, even though I know he knows all. My deepest, darkest secret is something I want to forever hide away and proclaim from the rooftops. I remember, and I wish I could forget. Ignorance really is bliss, but I am no longer ignorant. I. Am. Sad. And happy. Alone, and in a multitude. Cowardly, courageous, needy and aloof. I am a dichotomy, a true Taurus/Gemini (though I hold no stock in astrology). I want to share my secrets, but I'm too afraid to confide in anyone. I've been hurt, and have done my fair share of hurting, with a stone face and weeping heart. This is my journal, diary, confidant, sanity. And yet, I can't even tell it what I truly feel. I was trapped in the past tonight, and it was glorious and horrible. My own heart was revealed to me, and what I remembered made me want to forget, as well as lose myself. I hate that. Why can't I decide? Is my decision already made? Am I never supposed to decide? I don't know, but what I do know is that I'll live. It's easy to forget you're carrying weight when you've carried it for so long. And so, because I'm not strong enough to put down the weight, I'll carry it, and it will become slightly easier to handle. Good bye to night, and good morning to dawn.

Day 6

Last night. Tons more good music. Not really much else to say. What do you want to know? Seriously. I love questions. I'm out of things to write about.

Day 5

I am fundamentally opposed to country music. I hate the stuff. However, sometimes the lyrics are just perfect for describing how I'm feeling. I was at a country concert today (when I went I was unaware of the style), mostly listening because I wanted to give it a fair chance and partially because my friend thought it was good music, when the band started a song about lost love. And you know what? Every single word hit the nail on the head. I was probably more attentive to that song than I was to every awesome guitar solo I've heard all week, and I've heard some amazing solos. Hanging on every word, I thought to myself that they must have an answer for this. And you know what? After the whole sad part of the song, it ended. That's it. Really? We as mankind have had this love lost problem since the dawn of time, and the best we can do is say "yeah, it sucks"? BS! There must be a solution that isn't harmful to the self (because hitting the sauce is probably a "solution"). Whatever.

Anyways, something almost-hilarious happened tonight (or today, it is 2:20 AM). I'm camping with someone who leaves food out for no reason, probably because they're forgetful. Anyways, a raccoon comes up out of the woods and starts sniffing around their tent. All the while, my friend and I are quietly LOLing because we figure this raccoon is going to rip into their tent to get some food. It didn't happen, but we got a good laugh anyways.

Day 4

"A violet in the youth of primy nature,
Forward, not permanent, sweet, not lasting,
The perfume and suppliance of a minute,
No more." - Laertes, 1.3.8-11, Hamlet

I've often wondered whether or not I am described by these lines. My thinking has led me to believe that I'm not, but I can't help but wonder. I have some major regrets, and some things I really wish I could change or fix, but I'm not sure I ever can. Maybe I'm not bold enough, or maybe I'm too unsure, but I've always been a romantic at heart, and I always will be. I want to be the guy that marries his high school sweetheart (which isn't gonna happen, sadly), goes dancing in the rain (even though I hate dancing), kisses a girls hand on the first date instead of her lips (which I've never done, because I can't even bring myself to hold hands on the first date), and writes those crappy sappy love songs (well, hopefully not crappy).

Anyways, tons more good music, And today's high was only like 104. As I write this laying in my tent at 12:39 AM on Saturday, it's 90, with like 70% humidity. So dang hot. Supposed to be more of the same all weekend. I kind of hope it pours, because even though that would mean it would be hard to leave, it wouldn't be so stinking hot.

Day 3

I was mistaken, today was the first official day of Cornerstone. went and saw some amazing bands and heard lots of amazing music. This guy, Phil Keaggey (I think) was just amazing. So much skill. There was some amazing violin-rock too. No cool t-shirts this year though.

Got some thinking done; mostly just sad reminiscing, but it needed to be done, I think. Maybe I just say that so I don't feel bad about thinking about it, but whatever. It keeps me in line, puts things in perspective. I just wish there were some things I could fix. And you know what? Maybe I could fix these things, but not without running a huge (and highly possible) risk of just making things worse, because right now these things only affect me. I hope. I struggle for the right words to put down here, and my brain races as I think. It's hard, and I can't adequately describe just how hard without surrendering two things I'm not really ready to surrender yet: some very private emotions, and the lies I've been telling myself. Plus, I don't want to sound like a broken record. I hope I can get to the point where I can put this stuff down, if not say it out loud.

Day 2

Well, today was OK. Supposed to be like 107 on Friday, which really sucks, but I brought my trunks so I'll probably hit the lake. A good Glenn Kaiser concert yesterday, and a good Crossing concert today (with some bad concerts, and a nice cover of Fortunate Son). I even heard a cover of Friday that was worse than the original! Been doing some thinking and talking, but have mostly been keeping my brain away from certain thoughts because I do and don't want to think about them. I'm sure it'll happen soon though, and when it does I'll just sit in a lawn chair for a while.

Well, I should get to bed. It's 1:11 Am here on Thursday morning, and the music is still going, but I've got to get up to make pancakes in the morning. G'Night.